think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
