I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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