Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit