shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Come see our sink grown plant.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.