remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
