don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i need some magic done to my vagina
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
