Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
