My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
