I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
