He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
