Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
