In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
