It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
