Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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