biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Did I show you my penis last night?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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