is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
