I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
