i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
