sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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