He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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