There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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