they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
