is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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