Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
