Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
