Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
