This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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