Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
