okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
