he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize