I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
