Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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