I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
