Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
