just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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