Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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