I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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