i think i have two assholes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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