I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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