I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am one with the molecules
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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