508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
