rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
