I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
