I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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