just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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