You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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