took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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