I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
