oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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