Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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