I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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