do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
