I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize