I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool