I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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