I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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