you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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