capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
