I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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