My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
