well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
