I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she peed on how many people?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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