he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
