drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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