i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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